How to beat bad behavior such as anger and being a bully
Non-habitual bad behavers can easily stop without help. So if you’re reading this the chances are that you have a bad behavior habit. It could even be an addiction. There are many alternative approaches which will work better than a twelve step programme to treat some bad behavers. But most treatments have elements of a 12 step program, even if they’re advertised as an alternative program. Then again in the world of twelve step programs, AA’s old-fashioned 12 steps are no longer the only ones. So some research is required into what treatment will best suit them by the bad behaver who wants to reform.
The difference with bad behavers is that no substance is involved in their addiction or bad habit. Rather like a gambling or sex addiction, the method is to give up all of the misbehavior, avoiding triggers in the early stages and eventually reacting to them appropriately. The aim is to behave well.
Any money left?
Money is one factor. If a bad behaver has cash available or a health insurance policy that will cover treatment in a clinic, this will often be the first option. Many clinics specialise in adolescents and there are schools for scoundrels. But beware, if the rehab clinic / school is more like a five-star hotel than a hospital it may be too comfortable for the bad behaver to face up to harsh realities. More than one successful self-improver told me they first went to a clinic which treated them very nicely and it didn’t work. The ones that did work on a later occasion had a much tougher regime. I would avoid treatment centers that look like a five-star hotel in the brochure or on the internet with a swimming pool set out for sun bathing.
Usually clinics start one-to-one counselling, group therapy and lectures on reforming behavior immediately. Sometimes a 12 step program will be embarked on in the clinic, to be followed up with a recommendation to attend Emotions Anonymous or Violence Anonymous after the treatment ends. I’d like to think Bad Behavers (BB) could become an option in the future. Very often these groups will be recommended as a maintenance program after treatment.
But not always. Sometimes the line is: “you’re OK now, off you go and if you have any problems come back and see us.” Sometimes clinics run their own weekly meetings of patients after they have left treatment. I know many addicts who don’t go to meetings, but keep in touch with others through regular lunch dates or social encounters. However, knowing how many addicts that don’t attend meetings relapse, I would recommend continued attendance. Further, my observation of addicts who attend meetings but don’t do the steps is that they are in a limbo land somewhere between white-knuckling it (with no meetings) and being a happy, contented individual (who does the steps thoroughly). I would recommend thorough application to the program.