There is no excuse or reason to behave in the bad old ways. Is someone winding you up? No excuse, walk away. Do you feel the need for power and self-importance to replace feelings of being hard done by? There is no good reason for taking it out on others, walk away. If you want self-esteem you must do self-esteemable things such as good deeds. And one good deed per day must be one that you don’t tell anyone about.
Challenge the passing thought that you’d like to behave badly. Tell it to F*** off. Otherwise a seed will be planted that will grow into a real bout of bad behavior instead of an imagined one. Maybe not today, maybe a week later, but you will find yourself behaving in a way you’d decided not to any more.
Play the film the whole way through. This means: don’t just imagine what the first bullying act will be like. Don’t just imagine the scene setter – controlling others in a way that humiliates them and makes you feel god-like. How often will it be repeated? What trouble will you get into? How much harm will you do to yourself and those around you? What recriminations will there be at a later stage? How many short months of misery before you end up in dead trouble?
Don’t get bored. Meetings only take up so much time. Fill the time you used to spend engaging in your old problem with cinema, evening classes, the gym or swimming, for example. You could try new activities to see which you like. Make a list of things you’d intended to do.
Stop indulging in your addiction, go to meetings and, in between meetings, keep in touch with people you met at the meetings.
Don’t rush the program. It’s not a race. The concentration required to abstain and behave better without a relapse over time, precludes any quick fix.
Avoid stressful events, if possible, such as divorce, moving house, changing jobs, or a new partner in the first year or two. The stress can break one’s concentration on tackling the withdrawals.