Tips to Stop Addictive Sex by Vince Hawkins

Addictive sex is like overeating. Sex is not something you have to give up entirely as you would with drugs, including alcohol. Sex is a requirement for most people for a sound mind and healthy regime so you have to draw the distinction between addictive sex and healthy sex. The first is usually promiscuous and the other is usually what happens in a stable ongoing relationship. So the aim is to give up addictive sex and concentrate on creating a loving relationship.

Avoid stressful events in the first one or two years, if possible, such as divorce, moving house, changing jobs, or a new partner. The stress involved can break one’s concentration on establishing a healthy regime.

Don’t rush the program. It’s not a race.

Concentrate on quitting addictive behavior and establishing healthy behavior around sex above all else. Don’t try to give up anything else initially. Don’t worry about smoking and/or overeating. These issues can be addressed later. No sex addict indulged in bad old habits around sex under the influence of a cigarette or a biscuit.

Challenge the passing thought that you’d like to indulge in a sex act that is not on your OK list. Tell it to go away in no uncertain terms. Otherwise a seed will be planted that will grow into a real sex act instead of an imagined one. Maybe not today, maybe a week later, but you will find yourself back to your old tricks.

Play the video the whole way through. This means: don’t just imagine what the initial glimpse or touch will be like. Don’t just imagine the scene setter – accessing pornography, say. Go on to imagine what scrapes you will get into. What dark spot will you end up in? How much harm will you do to yourself and those around you? How many short months of misery before your life has unwound yet again?

The question of how to fill the time you used to spend on addictive behavior will arise. The cinema, evening classes, the gym and swimming are just a few examples. You could make your own list of things you’d intended to do. Also, you could sample many activities to see which ones spark an interest. If you are shy, amateur dramatics is a possibility, for example.

Avoid places where you partook in your addiction. Stop indulging in your addiction, go to meetings and, in between meetings, keep in touch with people you met at the meetings.